“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
― Marilyn Monroe
― Marilyn Monroe
This has kinda struck a nerve with me because I make a conscious effort to be someone that people can trust and I know I'm not the only one. So I started thinking about promises and I've decided we need to take more oaths and vows. I think there's an important distinction to make between your average run-of-the-mill promise and a vow. With a vow, there is typically some sort of ceremony. What's the value of ceremony? It burns the promise into your mind. Your being is branded with the promise. Breaking a vow cannot be done out of habit or accident. The ceremony of the vow prevents this. The ceremony elevates the vow from a simple "Sure, I can do that" to "This is important to me so as to rival life itself". Not something to be taken lightly whatsoever...
But why is such an oath so intimidating? Certainly it should be, but I think even making promises is becoming so terrifying that people avoid it. A commitment should be kept no matter how small. That way, when an oath is necessary the value of trust and the importance of steadfastness are not alien.
Like anything else, this takes practice. It means honesty has to be a way of life. It means even the smallest promises have to have great value. It means acknowledging that "little white lies" may not affect others, but they DO affect how well you can trust others AND your ability to keep promises. Trust can't be compartmentalized. Every dishonest action numbs a person's ability to trust and erodes their ability to be trusted.
If you feel that you cannot trust anyone, you must first make sure that you yourself can be trusted. And then maybe it's time to find some new friends...
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